I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
