i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
