He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I am available for nakedness
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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