Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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