Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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