chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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