I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
