How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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