Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
