yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Randomize
