the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
