id be glad to
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
