I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
