Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
