WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
