i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
