why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
