I am spending my child support on dildos
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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