I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
