Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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