No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
This is the high leading the old right now
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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