you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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