Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
