Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She is in my trunk
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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