Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
