Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
