Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
