just tell him i said nine months
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
