I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
