Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
