So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
