So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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