she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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