can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
