so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
