i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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