Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
