Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
