Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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