you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
