no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
