Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
