Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
