Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Randomize
