I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
