I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
