If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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