You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
