Michael Bay diarrhea
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just invented taco cereal.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
