I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
