apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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