also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
