just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
