well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
