Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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