Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
